Playing BIG in the Face of Fear
A few weeks ago, Shafraaz (Project Architect) called and asked if he could give me a tour of the Mosaic Centre site. He had caught wind that I hadn’t visited once since construction had begun (we were over two months in!), and thought that was a little weird. Quite frankly, I thought it strange as well, and wasn’t sure myself why I had been procrastinating the first visit.
I accepted his invitation and we met a few days later. We toured the site, then standing at the edge of the future café, we paused a moment to look over the building footprint. He turned to me and asked with anticipation, “So, what do you think?!” To which he was met with an awkward pause as I grasped for words and then stated the painfully obvious, “It’s really … REAL!” I then proceeded to experience a rush of the hot salty stuff to my eyes. The emotion took us both by surprise. “I’m sorry… I think I’m feeling a little overwhelmed,” I explained. “Are you feeling fearful about it?” he asked.
I pondered for a moment. I had been feeing incredibly satisfied with how the project was progressing. So what the heck was this sudden wave of emotion all about? Was it fear? With a flash of clarity I replied,“Yes, but not the kind you might think.”
I explained to Shafraaz that I have the usual concerns of quality, timeline and budget, but that I don’t lose too much sleep about those things because I know we have a team of exceptional people (like Shafraaz) who are worrying about those things for me. Rather, what I had realized in that moment, is that to be a dreamer of big dreams and to see them transforming into reality is incredibly empowering, humbling and scary! I thought of the Marianne Williamson quote that states, “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure… your playing small does not serve the world.” True enough! However, playing Big means opening oneself up to criticism, judgment, ridicule, the possibility of public failure, and the frustration of being commonly misunderstood!
I’m aware that Dennis and I tend to make challenging the status quo look fun. And often it really is. But sometimes it’s downright exhausting, overwhelming and unnerving. In times of weakened resolve, I count my blessings for the incredible team of people this project has drawn in to help make the Mosaic Centre a reality. They believed in the Vision, and they were willing to play Big with us—to take risks and try new things, all in the name of finding A Better Way.
THAT is why this project cannot fail. It is so much better to play Big as a team!